time is not in my control

WOW.
Summer FLEW by this year. I don't know if it's because I taught summer school for 3 weeks in June (just 7:30-11:30, but I still had to get up and go), or all of the random trips we have taken, or maybe both. Whatever the reason, it has gone way to fast this year. Next year, I am planning better! Only one family trip during the summer and NO summer school.
Needless to say, Monday is the big day. But an even bigger day will be Thursday, Merrit's 1st day at his new school! Big school! Really BIG school! I know that tears will be shed, but I feel that right now, this is what's best. Tears by me, certainly not by him. He is SO excited! He talks about it everyday. When we pass by the daycare where he has gone since we moved to Columbus, he says "Mama, there's Miller's school! But it's not my school anymore, right? Because I get to go to your school!" Oh my. I knew this time would come, but it has come too fast for me. I need more time. How do I get that?
I prayed last night that I would enjoy the here and now. Lately I've been looking back at baby pictures of both of my boys and hurting. Especially of Merrit. There are pictures all over my house of him when he was a baby, and then one, and then 2 and 3. He was my BABY. My WORLD for so long. Since then, I have found GOD. A relationship with Him that is indescribable. I love my Lord more than anything now. And although I love Merrit with an unconditional, unfailing love that will NEVER go away, he is no longer my world. I know that in order to be a good mother to him, a mother that will raise him in a home where we put God first in everything that we do, I have to put God first in everything that I do. Herein lies the struggle. I want to be in charge. I am one who is always in charge, and it is so hard to take a step back. I want to pull Merrit right out of school, quit my job, and turn back time. I know that I have done everything possible to prepare him for this next step, but it is still not easy. I want him to remain my baby, and he's just not anymore! Like I said, last night I prayed. I prayed hard. I do not want to have regrets when my kids are gone. It is FLYING by. Just like this summer, FLYING. I can't stop it. I am not in control. So I just prayed that I could enjoy the growing. The journey. The much too short journey.
This much I know is true: HE is in control of all things and I am continually learning to accept that. As long as I pray about what's bothering me (hurting me), and truly give it to HIM, it will be taken care of. I am so blessed to serve a God that knows my struggles, my failures, and my shortcomings, and loves me just the same :)

(Almost) Beach Bums



  I took my boys to Orange Beach this year, just like I have every year since Merrit was 6 weeks old, hoping and praying (literally) that they would like it better than in the years passed. I think I'm making progress! Miller thinks that he is an olymic swimmer. I honestly thought the child would be doing one and a half's off the side of the pool by the time we left. Merrit is becoming more and more confident. He jumped off the side and swam around by himself the whole time (in a ring). We didn't do a whole lot while we were there other than hang at the condo and on the beach (which is what I like to do anyway). We went to a few awesome restaurants and shopped in Foley. All in all...a success for my kiddos. I did not, however, take many photos. I only took my camera down to the water one day and didn't get very many good pics. I honestly lugged the entire condo to the beach with my 2 kids and did not have room for the camera. Both of my boys had to wear ear plugs the whole time because 1. Miller has tubes and I was scared something yucky from the ocean would get in them, and 2. Merrit had swimmer's ear! Antibiotics and drops have since cured it, but it hurt that boy pretty bad at the time.
Now, we're looking forward to San Antonio and Sea World!!!! My sister-in-law and her family (which includes 3 kids that my children LOVE) moved all the way to San Antonio, TX at the beginning of the summer. Although it's sad that they're not right around the corner in Brandon anymore, we are SO happy for them. This is truly where God wants them to be and I love hearing the way that they're living out God's plan.