Bring on the change, this girl is ready

Well, Christmas is over. I found something out this year that I didn't know before. I actually like the weeks leading up to Christmas much more than Christmas itself. Is that bad? I know that it's Jesus's birthday, but I always feel like I'm trying that whole day to make it perfect. No, this is not going to be another post about me trying to measure up! This was actually one of the best Christmas's that I've ever had. After the initial worrying, I let it all go, and soaked it all up. I really enjoyed the lights, the music, the several plays/musical's that I saw, and the cold weather. I think that every now and then, I like a change in my routine, and Christmas brings that.

Christmas Eve is always the most special time for me. I don't know why. I guess because growing up, we always had Christmas Eve at my mamaw Branton's house, who I loved SO much, and miss all the time. She was my mother's mother and was an ANGEL. Anyone who knew her would say the same thing. I swear, she had a direct line to God. My mom is pretty close, but my mamaw, man, I strive every day to be like her. Sometimes, especially during the holidays or after something really special or really hard, I think about her and how much I want to tell her. She wouldn't even know me now. I have changed SO much since she passed when I was a senior in college. I would like to hope that she would be proud. My mom's side of the family was extremely close when she was alive, now we hardly ever get together. I hope that one day, I can provide what she did for my children and my children's children. Her FAITH was unmoving. Her LOVE was unconditional. Her STRENGTH was from God.

This year, I am going to try to be a constant, positive influence in people's lives. A friend of mine (hey, Cathy), who I admire greatly, just blogged about how important it is to have that constant releationship with God. I needed to read that, and I am ready to live it.

I feel that sometimes I am "on fire" for God, and other times I am just complacent with our little relationship. I want to be ON FIRE constantly. I know that this takes effort on my part, and honestly, I have been lazy. I want a direct line to God. I want to be on fire. May this new year bring this. Bring it on 2011.